Sarko is so…manly!

According to that beacon of news reporting, The New York Post, Sarko gave a beef injection to “that pute” Carla Bruni (Fifi’s words, not mine) and she’s preggers!

KOZY’S COOCHY ‘BABY MOMMA’

OOH-LA-LA! GAL PAL ‘PREGNANT’

By DAVID K. LI

January 12, 2008 — French president Nicolas Sarkozy has knocked up gal pal Carla Bruni, less than two months into their torrid love affair, according to a published report.

London’s Daily Mail, citing unidentified sources at the American Hospital in the Paris suburb of Neuilly, reported that Italian supermodel Bruni, 40, has a French bun in the oven.

Sarkozy and Bruni, who met in November less than a month after the French president’s divorce, are set to tie the knot on Feb. 9.

News of the unexpected pregnancy will surely infuriate Sarkozy’s ex-wife, Cecilia, who is reportedly going to be ripping the president in a series of slash-and-burn, tell-all books.

In one book, Cecilia Sarkozy is allegedly set to rip her ex as “ridiculous, badly behaved and not fit to be president.”

The bitter ex also took a shot at Bruni by accusing Sarkozy of surrounding himself with “des pétasses fardées” – French for “loose ladies.”

Cecilia called her ex-husband’s female political aides “boring wallflowers, and now that there is no first lady, he needs to surround himself with pretty young things dressed in Dior.”

The president’s romance of the former supermodel has been the talk of France.

Photos of frolicking Sarkozy and Bruni have been filling European magazines and newspapers for weeks.

Bruni has been a regular guest at the presidential Elysee Palace and her presidential lover reportedly gave her a $20,000 pink heart-shaped diamond ring.

Despite Cecilia’s strong dislike for her ex, she’s been trying to stop an author from chronicling her venom.

A Paris judge yesterday denied a request by the former Mrs. Sarkozy to stop publication of “Cecilia” by journalist Anna Bitton.

The ex-wife claimed unsuccessfully that her comments to Bitton were not for publication.

Dominique Moisin, of the French Institute of International Relations, told The Daily Mail that Sarkozy’s tabloid presidency needs to return to normal.

“The sooner they marry, the sooner the presidency’s dignity will be restored,” Moisin said.

Kids are people, too!

The last scene of Truffalt’s masterpiece, Argent de Poche…

J’adore this song!

My friend Jason who bears a striking resemblance to both Justin Timberlake AND Doogie Houser, MD, who also happens to be the undisputed princess of pop music, finally started his blog about… you guessed it….pop music.

So from now on, he shall be known as THE AGITPOPTIMIST.

Pop on over and check out what he has to say from time to time. I’m sure you won’t be disappointed. You might even find yourself bopping boobies you didn’t even know you had!

He inspired me to post this video by Katerine, a great French poptart whose music Fifi and I were definitely bopping our boobies to this summer:

His outfit is so Madonna à la Confessions on a Dance Floor, n’est pas?

GIANT RATS INVADE NEW JERSEY!

Sorry, just had to yell out that headline.  This week has been crazy.  First  Sarko gets engaged and now GIANT RATS ARE INVADING NEW JERSEY!!!  I need to call my assemblyman, stat.

From the New York Post:

Giant rodents are about to take over New Jersey!

And even if the Garden State might not look any different, it has some officials worried about the ugly, 20-pound nutria which have made their way here from points south of the Mason-Dixon line.

The furry rodent is widely considered one of the most damaging creatures to marshland ecosystems – which, of course, would make New Jersey the critter’s spiritual home.

“I spotted it in Lower Alloway Township, Oct. 29,” state Division of Fish and Wildlife biologist Andrew Burnett told The Star-Ledger of Newark.

“The animal was swimming across Alloway Creek approximately 150 feet from my position.”

For decades, the nutria have slowly made their way up the Eastern Sseaboard. It was first recorded in large numbers in Delaware and Maryland in the 1980s

And now, the first has been spotted in Jersey.

“It’s a very large rodent,” said Leonard Douglen, executive director of the New Jersey Pest Management Association.

“As long as we don’t allow the population to grow, we can eradicate them no matter how big they are.”

The rodents – which measure as long as 24 inches from nose to tail – can kill an ecosystem by evicting current tenants like waterfowl, crabs and fish.

Douglen said that if the nutria invade New Jersey in large numbers, he and other pest-control warriors will have to take them out, one at a time.

“We’d probably trap them, wherever there are sightings. We’d have to set traps in those areas,” he told The Post last night.

“Just because a new species comes around doesn’t mean you reinvent the wheel.”

The nutria, as big as most dogs and resembling a beaver, has an average life span of about four years in the wild.

The South American rodent, with its fine fur, was once bred for their pelts in the late 19th century and in the first half of the 20th century.

As nutria farms popped up in the South and Gulf Coast regions, so did feral populations of the big, ugly rodents.

The most fierce battles against the nutria have been waged on Maryland’s Eastern Shore, where state officials want to protect their precious Chesapeake Bay.

The Blackwater National Wildlife Refuge in Maryland has been ground zero of the war against the nutria, which has devoured about 7,000 acres of salt marsh in the past half-century.

Bonne Année, les gars!

Hope everyone’s 2008 is 2000-great!

For the first time ever, I’ve decided to spurn resolutions this year and just be really nice to myself. I hope you will be nice to yourselves, too.

Then, maybe if we are all really nice we can wipe out hatred and there will be no more war or suffering in the world!

So, that’s my goal for 2008. Totally.

Gros bisous!

Sarko engaged?!

Woooooooah! Hold yer horses! I haven’t even finished mourning the end of Cecilia yet!

There’s real speculation that Sarko proposed to Italian-born model Carla Bruni on Christmas day during their vacation in Egypt, when she was photographed wearing a gigantic, pink diamond on her wedding-ring finger.

I can’t believe this. Like one month of dating and they’re getting married? Do you know what news like this does for my self-esteem?!

Only kidding.

Sort of.

It’s not bad enough that Carla Bruni is a supermodel. A rich supermodel. Then on top of that she gets a big giant rock after dating the president de la République for a month?

This is retarded. I can’t even believe I’m reporting on this. I should see what my cat is up to and report on that instead.

Oh, he’s passed out next to the Christmas tree.

Anyway, here is a link to the article in Le Parisien, featuring commentary from Bruni’s mother about their relationship. Wouldn’t you just be SO pissed at your mom if she did that to you?

You can also read the watered-down American translation in People [CARLA BRUNI: FRANCE'S NEXT FIRST LADY?....gag, (gag is mine)] by clicking here.

Excuse me, but I need to go cry now.

Reason 1,204,465,683,612 why I love France

PARIS (AP) — Miss France 2008 will keep her crown, despite racy photos that appeared recently in a gossip magazine, but will not compete in the Miss World or Miss Universe pageants.

Valerie Begue, 22, will not be stripped of the title she won Dec. 8, but will not be allowed to take part in upcoming international competitions, Miss France organizers said Friday.

Begue described the outcome as “a compromise which satisfies all parties.”

The pageant’s criteria stipulates that candidates must “never have posed or exhibited (themselves) in dubious outfits or poses, partially or totally nude.”

Photos published in Entrevue magazine last week included one of a bikini-clad Begue lying on a cross in a swimming pool and another of her licking what appeared to be yogurt or evaporated milk.

Begue is a native of France’s Indian Ocean island of Reunion. She is to be replaced in international pageants by the first runner-up, Vahinerii Requillart, Miss New Caledonia.

(Note from the French Fried American: don’t you totally love the Peau d’ane outfits they’re wearing? I feel like baking the cake d’amour right now… )

Political persuasion is Genetic!

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!

Sorry.

I loved this one. Apparently some Americans did a study that indicate that your political stance is determined in part by your brain make-up.

It’s a great new excuse for us Americans. “Eh, sorry I blew up your country. It wasn’t my fault… my president (and a sad majority of the country) were born that way.”

Click here to read the article in La Liberation (in French).

Protected: Some notes on cultural differences

This post is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Password:

No smoking in France? Quel horreur!

According to the BBC news website, France is going to outlaw smoking in cafés, bars, hotels and casinos as of January 2.

I can’t believe it! One of the last places in the universe where you can feel guilt free about lighting up. It’s the end of an era.

I remember when I was studying in France in the mid-90s and the government tried to put in place smoking and non-smoking sections. It was a total bust. The non-smoking section in most places was a single, small, broken table in the hallway next to the bathrooms.

But no smoking at ALL in public places? I remember thinking it wasn’t going to work in New York, but it ended up being a very nice change, acutally, and only a minor inconvenience on cold days. But those Frenchies aren’t nearly as compliant as we Americans are. Maybe there’ll be riots. Maybe there’ll be a grève! 

 Here’s the article in its entirety:

France is poised to extend its smoking ban to bars, cafes, restaurants and discos, but the measure will not be enforced fully until 2 January.

The health ministry said smokers would be allowed a 24-hour “grace” period for the New Year festivities.

The ban, which will also cover casinos and hotels, comes on top of a partial ban on smoking in public places that took effect in February.

Similar bans are already in place in Britain, Ireland, Italy and Spain.

The French health ministry said the wider ban, due to take effect on 1 January, would not be monitored strictly during the New Year festivities, in a gesture of “tolerance”.

Any smoker caught flouting the ban thereafter faces a 450-euro (£332; $662) fine, while those who turn a blind eye to smokers on their premises can be fined up to 750 euros.

France has about 13.5 million smokers among its population of 60.7 million.

In February smoking became outlawed in French airports, railway stations, hospitals, schools, shops and offices.

The new ban is seen as a big cultural shift for France, where smoky cafes have long been the haunts of famous artists and philosophers. The ban does not include pavement tables or open-air terraces.

In 2004, Ireland became the first European country to introduce a comprehensive smoking ban in all workplaces, including pubs and restaurants.